Thursday, October 1, 2015

Fantasy World


I have run through Fairy Princess scenarios, which leak out of my brain lickety-split, seeming tired and unreachable at the same time.  Better hair in a kinder environment, that's what I'd go for, I think.  

But nothing sticks.  

The backyard has a lot of oxalis in it and even though oxalis is a rampaging weed, it is pretty to look at. Little yellow flowers and all.  So my surroundings will Do. New paint jobs in various rooms--the bathroom's Chinese Restaurant Look could be replaced with something more bathroomy.  

I was going for Italian once, and it didn't make it.  Tuscan yellow, you know.  So, yes, paint jobs in the hall and bathroom and maybe even up the stairs. This is how my fantasy mind works. Grounded like old rubber soles on a clay path.  

Thunk, thunk.  No soars, no bright blue skies.  

Wait, there's a fantasy waiting to happen: Rain. Yes, I will get behind that one---rain away, mean old blue skies of today as chillingly beautiful as you were yesterday and all the days before you!  The Chronicle stuck one of its hardly-ever-used raincloud images on the front page today but looking out the window here in San Jose, I say "nope."

And, of course, the real, real fantasy that would give me ease and comfort and relief is if my two children would, magically, wake up one morning all well again. Fixed. No dystonia for Mark, no head injury problems for Jen, no wobbling and falling and aphasia and stuckness in this life as they now know it.  

Then we would be able to form a circle and dance around the living room and run to leap off the shallow steps into the yard and continue that dance of pure joy.  That's the fantasy that has made its home in my brain for so long.  

A stroke of a magic wand, a miracle.  And some rain.

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